Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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