I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
