he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
