I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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