her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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