Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
