I heard we made out
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
