Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
