Moan for me like Helen Keller
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
