At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Randomize
