I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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