So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
