wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
