There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
