Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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