As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
