i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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