I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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