The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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