let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
stop calling my apartment porn island.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
