I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
