The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
