I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
