I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
