She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
