she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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