Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
