Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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