idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize