Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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