if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
