UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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