you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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