how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
