Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
