So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
