just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
