Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
