No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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