I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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