I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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