I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
