Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
