Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
