Jerry, you need to find god
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize