What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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