scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
