Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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