Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
