Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
