My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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