Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
