dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
