I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im six kinds of drunk right now
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
