In America we eat man semen.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
