Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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