my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize