Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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