There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
