Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
