hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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