my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
