So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
