Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
