Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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