I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
