Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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