he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it's like iHOP with fire
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's shark week go big or go home
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
