So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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