Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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