He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
